I LIKE MY SOOTCASEE!!!!! 😭

But where did the time go to, honestly?!!! I thought just yesterday, I was bébé Bleble!!!

Guys let’s have a little chat on this, abeg!

Cause I swear, it's like they hand you a book when you're born that you can't read until you're an adult. And when you finally open it? Plot twist; there’s no handbook, just a whole bunch of “Ohhh, so that’s what they meant!”

Anyhoo, let me take us back for a minute. You know how when you were a kid, always trying to be in adults' business? For instance, when they're pounding achu (for clarity’s sake, achu is a traditional dish from the Northwest region of Cameroon), and you want to pound too, but they drive you away, and then you start crying? 😂 They'll look at you and say, “When you’re older, you won’t even want to be around a mortar.” But there you are, fuming, because they didn’t want you to pound too, not having an idea what they meant back then. 😒

Just to wake up some day, and BOOM. You find yourself staring into the abyss of adulthood. You’re standing there, in the middle of your room, staring at nothingness, thinking about the bills, responsibilities you now have, and how even garri (fermented cassava flakes; a common west and central African snack) has become so expensive. Like how exactly am I supposed to feed myself in such an economy? 😭Not to imagine if I had a kid as well? hah!

Growing up to me just feels like one long, exhausting game of connect the dots, where the dots are all the stuff adults used to complain about. And suddenly, you get it. “Money doesn’t grow on trees”, they’d say. Well, at this point, I don’t even think money exists to be honest. It’s like it shows up, just to feed your eyes, and then, poof, it's gone. Like it was never even there. 😩

“Switch off those lights in your rooms!!!”, “Go and use the fireside!!!“. I get it. Used to think she was overreacting, lol. Now, with ENEL, I turn into a full-time electricity monitor. Light off, gas off, everything off.

Eating out... umm I’ve actually never had an issue with it, mainly because I don’t have that desire to always eat out, especially on my own. Introverts am I right?! 💀 Plus, it’s way too costly. Fortunately, like I said, I’ve never been one to enjoy eating out. I’ll prefer to just eat cereals and sleep on days I’m not motivated to cook, and that works just fine for me. No need to stress over reservations, overpriced meals, or people staring at you while you eat. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not saying I wouldn’t go on a restaurant date or enjoy a solo treat every now and then! Abeg!!!!!😂

Growing up is so weird, man, and you may not have thought of this but it’s actually a privilege to realise that you’re no longer that little kid from yesterday, and that you actually need to start taking responsibility, so you act accordingly. A lot of people never get that privilege of discernment and stay stuck in their childlike state. I, for one, wasn’t it just yesterday that I always claimed being a U23 and U19?? Now, all I want to do is just go back to when I was that carefree kid, who often just played without a care in the world (apart from the voluminous assignments I had not yet done for school tomorrow lol), sitting on the sidelines, watching adults do their thing. But here I am, trapped in the hustle. If only wishes were horses, right? No choice but to keep pushing forward. 😭

Oh, and don’t even get me started on my oldest daughter chronicles! 😭 Ahhh! The presshaaa is getting wesaaaah!!! I couldn’t possibly do this piece without addressing this chapter of my life, lol.

If you’re the oldest, you know exactly what I’m talking about and how it is. From day one, you’ve been groomed for responsibility, like a pre-school internship for adulthood you never signed up for. From calculating how much Maggi to add to the soup, to always being expected to be the bigger person to your younger siblings, learning early that “Mommy, I’m hungry” is just not a valid complaint for you. Like you’re the one who’s gotta make that food, so what do you mean? 😂 and many other situations I can't remember.

And then there’s the endless name-calling!!! Omg! Your name gets shouted at least a hundred times a day for every little thing. And you’ve probably answered with a frown at least once, only to hear, “Fix that face before you talk to me!” 😂 But hey, you’re still under their roof, still going to school, still collecting allowances.

Oh, and one transition that really piqued my interest me as the oldest is how you go from being emotionally distant from your parents to being their closest friend, lmaooo! Suddenly, you're the one they vent to about your younger siblings' behaviour or finally open up about financial problems and prospects they used to shield you from when you were a kid. That switch really threw me off the first time I realised it. The subtle emotional blackmail you begin to experience too. And to think, I haven’t even entered the job market yet. 😂 But will my junior siblings hear that one?! They will bill no matter what you're going through in this life. As long as you're now far away from home, it's assumed you're independent enough and there must be some serious money coming in for you😂 

No one or nothing truly prepares you for how unhinged adulthood is. One day, you wake up and you're the one making decisions about how to structure your life, how to manage your time, and how to just stay alive. And the things they don’t tell you about adulthood? Like, seriously, you mean to tell me I’m at the age where I have to land a serious job, climb the career ladder (hello, networking), figure out how and where to invest my money in preparation for my future, decide if I want to buy or build a house or live in my car, make presentations/pitches, speak publicly, buy stocks, start looking for my own plot of land, have an intentional relationship, plan a forever with someone I’ll have to share my whole world with? Witness your friends levelling up too, getting big girl jobs; spearheading projects in major corporations and national or international organisations, working in ministries, working as HODs in institutions, well renowned politicians, attorneys, successful business owners and building nuclear families? Hah, I was 20 just yesterday, wdym?! 😭

But here we are!

Honestly, a round of applause has to be in order for all of us transitioning and already transitioned adults who didn’t exactly sign up for this but are still out here figuring things out. To those of us winging it and pretending we have everything under control, you're doing great. As for me? 😂 I'm still out here trying to figure out how the heck I'm supposed to have it all together. But hey, we'll figure it out eventually, or at least, we'll pretend we’ve got it all locked down. Fake it till you make it, abi? 😅

And if we make it through this chaotic ride, here’s to hoping our wallets stay full, longer hours of uninterrupted sleep, and not hearing a sleek, "When will you marry?", dropped casually into a conversation again. 😂